tending

"This is the work of tending - and it is the work that makes up most of life. To tend is to make small, frequent, repeated actions without immediate results, but with long-term payoff. Tending is the language of habits and rituals. It is hard work, because it is usually menial and persistent. It is embedded in diligent process instead of fast and easy results. Tending is hard. It is often monotonous and seemingly insignificant. As I tend to my garden each day, there is little evidence of change. I cannot see my plants growing in front of my eyes. But I continue to water and fertilize, stake and weed, because I know that the cumulative effect of these small, consistent interventions will be a harvest." (Daughers of Promise, "Tend", p. 7)

For me, at this stage, parenting is tending. It is hard work, tedious, monotonous. I say the same things, at about the same times, every day. Over and over, we have to re-learn to be kind, respectful, and use our words instead of our hands and feet to explain how we are feeling or what we need. I do this every day, trusting that at some point, perhaps, we will learn. It is not always clear to me if or when, but I am hopeful.

Sometimes, I do lose hope. And it is then that God brings to my attention passages like II Corinthians 13:5-9 --

"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test. But we pray to God that you may not do wrong—not that we may appear to have met the test, but that you may do what is right, though we may seem to have failed. For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for."

This is my prayer for my children - "that you may do what is right, though [I] may seem to have failed."