highly favored

We all desire to be good stewards - of this life, of our time. I'll be the first to admit that when my iPhone started sending me weekly screen time reports I was a little appalled and decided that, perhaps, I wasn't being the steward that I should.

I was just reading an article in the Daughters of Promise "Expectant" issue about taking advantage of the pockets of time throughout the day - the little, ten-minute or one-hour segments where you have the opportunity to choose if you're going to be productive with that time or waste it. So anyway, I have this pocket of time right now where it happens to be 45 degrees in the middle of winter break and the kids are all outside playing. There's a lot of things that need to be done but I'm feeling the nudge to write and that's so unusual lately that I decided I better sit down and see what comes out.

Yesterday during Christmas morning church services, we looked at this verse from Luke 1, where the angel came to Mary: "And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women." (vs 28, KJV)  What does it look like to be highly favored of the Lord?

Grant has been challenging me over and over lately, that my decision-making and holiness-seeking must be vertical - between me and God - and not horizontal, by comparing myself with others. That concept is echoed in a book I'm reading, Why Her? by Nicki Koziarz. Being highly favored of the Lord certainly is not being "better" than the next person. It's also not doing exactly what she's doing, or being good at exactly what she's good at, or approaching life the same way she does. Even though it's tempting for me to just attempt to be "more" favored than the next person, that's not what God asks.

I read this morning in II Timothy 2 and verses 21-24 caught my attention:
"Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness."

It's rather simple - I can be a vessel fit for His use, as Mary was, if I take care to cleanse myself from what is dishonorable. And there are even examples here, and of course throughout Scripture, of what it takes to be set apart, holy, ready for His service. It is pursuing faith, love, and peace within the context of normal, everyday life. In this time of new goals and fresh starts, I find within these three overarching virtues many ways that I can seek to become more useful to the God in the new year. For me, pursuing faith will be choosing to trust that He is bigger than me - that even if I am not "enough", He is, and that even if I fail, He redeems. Pursuing love will be to prefer others over myself - to rejoice in their accomplishments (rather than feeling inferior about my own, or criticizing to exalt myself) and to see them as the God-created, God-loved beings that they are. Pursuing peace will be to submit myself to the desires, opinions, and preferences of others - even the ones I don't agree with.

Seeking to be useful to God comes with it's own set of risks. I have to regularly overcome the fear that I'll miss or refuse a call from God. I'm afraid that somehow I won't be positioned correctly or willing to do something that He asks. And I'm afraid that if I AM waiting, with arms open, He'll ask me to do something that's too hard. And so I find myself holding back from the full measure of love and trust between us because I'm afraid.

The Lord was with Mary, and she was serving Him with her life. And when His "too-hard" call came, Mary was afraid too.  "And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be." God's directive for her to birth His son was because she was walking with Him. He wouldn't have chosen someone He didn't "favor". So I suppose Mary could have avoided the whole situation if she had just never been living for God in the first place. I suppose He probably would have found someone else. I suppose by serving God we are risking that He'll ask us to do something hard.

But ultimately, it's more important to me to be "highly favored" (of HIM, not of other people) than it is to be comfortable. I have to re-learn and remember that over and over again but it is true. We are risking a lot but Jesus gave it all, and in this world we honestly have nothing to lose. When I give my life to Him, "I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me". (II Timothy 1:12) I have to allow God to guard because if I walk around in self-protection mode, I'll never accomplish anything or be useful to Him. If I am so busy protecting, I am not free to pursue Him. And so I have to release it all to Him again, all of it. My husband, my house, my possessions, my family, my health - He knows how to take care of it far better than I do. Seeking to be a steward of my life, to be "highly favored", and to be a "vessel for honorable use" - is handing it all back to Him.

"And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word."

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